Sunday October 23rd. The air is crisp, clear, and comforting. I am in the Bronx standing on the subway platform looking down over Hugh Circle after having left the home of my long time friend Katurah Kendrick, notable writer and educator. She allowed me to crash on her couch Saturday night. Frankly this actor is unemployed and couch surfing. This morning however I was on my way to Actorfest - NYC.
Don't know what that is exactly? Think of a professional conference with industry leaders sharing wisdom, insights, success stories, failure stories and a Greek orgy all rolled up together. It was pretty cool about 62 degrees outside so we all had our clothes on. This Expo is designed with Actors in mind -specifically Actors who are new to the industry and interested in investing in themselves. It is my first one and somehow, magically, I had become a virgin again. (That line was for you Danielle and you also, Troy) Full of anticipation, I approached the glass doors and passed this guy in the Leopard print spanks. As interesting and provocative as he is I still am not prepared for what awaited me beyond the entrance way.
The foyer is white and full of those metal, interlocking parade gates. A young woman, armed with a clear plastic clipboard and equipped with a two way radio, inquired whether I had pre-registered. I responded, indeed I had pre-registered. With a toss of her thick, auburn hair and a gesture of her pale, manicured finger tip, I am instructed as to which line I should join. This sinuous Que wound back and forth mostly in silence, I pulled up the electronic version of my ticket on my cell phone and presented it to the desk agent. Just here, past the end of the counter, the white walls and floors came to an abrupt end. I stood in the entrance of a huge doorway. Visualize a rectangle opening wide enough to drive a truck through and high enough to accommodate a half giant. My foot crossed into the grey area of the floor and suddenly a cacophony of sounds rushed up on me.
My head snapped around to my right and I saw it. An ordered jumble of banners, tables, people and more people, presumably actors or acting enthusiast. The noise that I heard was unbelievable. Literally unbelievable because I couldn't hear it on the other side of the entrance way. I stepped back across the threshold and sounds vanished. Astonishing! I stepped again into the conference floor and sounds assaulted me once more. Some unseen female person blared their voice over the PA system announcing open spots in various seminars and encouraging we listeners to buy a seat and attend. Ninety to ninety-three percent of the crowd was dressed in black.
I am the kind of man who is round in the belly and wide of the hip. [Hey. Don't judge me! At least my feet are big and wide.] So I am disappointed to note that in the midst of the clamoring the folks are all jammed together, clambering all over one another like......like.......well like New Yorkers in an orgy.
My eyes found the sign above a table announcing it as the local union table. I began my journey cross the expanse carefully nudging, friendly shoving people aside. Without anyway to actually reach the table I stood three or four persons back and listened to the discussion of union membership. The gentle Representative for one of the unions didn't seem to have a great deal of confidence in what he was saying. Others and I asked about the joining requirements and benefits and this amiable fellow again and again declared his ignorance while suggesting we call the membership office number on the fliers. Smiling I accepted a hand out and continued around hall and through the maze of tables.
A handful acting schools had tables. Along with with unions and entertainment foundations were people just selling snacks, yoga classes and tourist items. After I have made the circuit and knowing I am hated for, envied of and protected by my girth - I sought the silence of the outer entrance.
Now I know two things. Actorfest was not the appropriate place for me to meet and greet directors, producers or casting agents. The event offers actors the opportunity to pay to attend workshops so they may be "seen" by casting agents. I do not to pay to be seen by any casting agent. It has long been my understanding that I should never pay any casting person under any circumstances. If a casting agent or director books me for a job then that person receives a fee from the client for hiring me. It seems to me there is no legitimate reason for an actor to pay to be seen by a casting agent. The second thing I learned is that joining a union begins with a phone call.
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